I have a pot SB that I'm attempting to negotiate with. I'd like to get a sense of what they would be happy with before sharing what I'm comfortable with. But, when I ask, they keep responding, "what do you think is fair"? I feel like I'm negotiating against myself and would like to say "I think $100 is fair", but I don't want to insult her. At the same time, she might say okay because she doesn't seem completely money driven. For example, we've already been BCD and nothing was exchanged because we hadn't agree on anything. Anyway, I'm kind of stumped. Suggestions on how you would handle a situation like this would be appreciated.
There are many posts here on negotiating. Please search the forum for those as they provide excellent advice. But here's a quick recap:
Asking you what is "fair" is essentially asking you what she is "worth." And her "worth" is a slippery slope to be avoided.
Several problems with "fair" or "worth":
1. It reinforces the transactional context; you must pay a fair price for her service.
2. This is way too subjective and can (will) end badly for you. What is a woman "worth"? She's priceless! Just ask her!
3. IMPORTANT: In the "fair" or "worth" context, SHE has control and has leverage on your offer. If you offer $400, she can counter with "Am I not worth just a hundred more than that?" If you say no, you just insulted her and that is never a good idea.
If you negotiate from your budget, YOU are in control. Any arguments of "I'm worth more" are moot. Sure, she is indeed worth millions just to be in her presence! My suggested negotiation strategy is to base your offers on YOUR budget. This is objective and stays away from "fair" and "worth." Your budget is your budget. Asking you to go over your budget risks her not getting ongoing dates, or dates at the frequency you can budget. So I use language like this:
"My budget is around $300-$400 whenever we meet. Plus, I will always pay for all expenses during our date of course, like dinner, tickets, travel, and such. How does that sound to you?"
If she counters with a higher number, you need to make a decision if you want to accept it or recounter. For example, if you are willing to go higher, you can take the expensive dinners off the table and shift those funds into your allowance budget. (She may even reply that she's not really looking to go out to dinners and such. That makes it easier.)
Finally, be prepared to WALK AWAY if you can't agree on a comfortable number. If you are looking for an ongoing arrangement, going 20-50% over your budget (budget = rate including incidental expenses like dinner and/or hotel room x # meetings per month) you will find yourself getting less satisfaction with her over time as you will always be overpaying. If you are just looking for a Bang and Bail (BAB) because she is insanely hot and a total freak in bed, then going overbudget for one or two BCD's may be a good investment.
Alos, keep walking away as a viable option: There will always be more POT's. Always. I did a "back of envelope" math problem a few years back using US Census data. By my rough estimate, there are around 1,000 to 20,000 women turning over 18 EVERY month in EVERY state in the Union.
Life is good
The Cat
Again spot on from the guru..
Sugaring is an interesting "market" because there is no real fair price or cost of doing business. Gals will say they spent xx on their hail and nails and such but that's really more for themselves. And no one HAS to sugar. If it's too expensive guys can walk away. If it;s not an attractive proposition for the ladies they will stay on the sidelines.
So it's really a question of what feels good and right for both sides. The gals want something that makes an impact on their lifestyle (there's a range here.. some also want recreational sex, some are desperate for cash) Guys want.. well you fill in the blanks but I think we want an experience that makes us feel good. Some will want more of a relationship and some will want to move along each time.
Reframe from fairness to talk budget
Btw she sounds a little inexperienced
I tell the lady that I have seen such a wide range of asks that I like the lady to tell me. If it's way too high I reply....too much for me. Take care. Be safe.....90% of the time they come back with a realistic counter. I've noticed we are all talking PPM. I wonder what % of arrangements are monthly? 5%? I think a lot of SB are wannabe UTR escorts. Seeing 4 to 6 guys at a time. I just had one ghost on me after 2 years. Her lifestyle and job didn't match up financially unless she was seeing several other guys than me. Of course she said it was only me. Lol