One thing we discuss over and over on this forum is discretion. A client deserves it, pays for it. Some men don’t want to give out personal info no matter what. I respect their feelings. I wont see someone though, if I can’t verify him by some reliable means.
Had a case recently where a man insisted on seeing me, but wouldn’t let me “screen” him. After exploring various avenues at his insistence, I finally told him that the only option left was to get a couple of provider references – at least two. But they had to be ladies I know and trust to give me an accurate reference.
That part was fine. The part that bothered me horribly and still does was that in trying to show me that he “knows” these ladies, he felt compelled to name drop THE REAL NAME. This also happened in another case with another prospective client telling me a very famous lady’s real name. I nixed the appointment on both counts.
I'm no hero, and yes I'm picky, but geez!@!@! Guys, this is a NO NO!!!!! Why do some of you do this? Is it because you write graphic reviews so you don’t know to draw the line at tossing around real names? Maybe that’s one reason why some of these men can’t bear to be screened?
It certainly tells me that you are indiscreet These very men scream for privacy yet don’t give it. Regardless who you tell, eventually you will tell the wrong person.
Please stop it. That’s a surefire indicator to not see you. I dont want to be the one who trusted you with my real name, my only bastion of privacy, only to be betrayed.
Ditto!!!!!!
...even to so called 'regular' clients. What are they thinking?
Usually we dont but sometimes accidents do happen, or clients snoop, go poking through medicine cabinets (yes!), etc, or just badger the girl. I knew one man who badgered the girls saying that he was merely being treated coldly and not as a friend. He used the "trusting" of a real name as a benchmark as to how well he was being treated. Then turned around and started name dropping. All bs of course.
Of course there is the travelling and plane tickets, when some ladies give out their names for plane ticket purposes, because it's not always possible to buy an adjoining seat on a plane with a client in a separate transaction (to my knowledge, anyway).
I believe this really is all the exception, but I was floored at the name dropping by clients. What are THEY thinking.
So I take it I'm not being overly reactive when a client name drops? Right off the top I told a couple of them that they'd better never ask my name, but then I was afraid to see them, because they might be the ones to snoop around. And it pisses me off too, when they do that after refusing to be screened.
-- Modified on 7/6/2002 10:35:41 PM
Its only a first name anyway. How many "Carol"s are there in the world. My last name is too weird to believe its my real...
I've had the oportunity to know the real names of a few of the providers I've seen. In the begining I felt that they knew mine and I felt a little odd knowing that I was using a "made up" name when I was in the midsts of the moment. I wasn't really considering the scope of the hobby in those days. Amazingly I was told the "real" name or at least another name by the first two I saw. Looking back on the situation it was not the brightest move on their part.
Later I was talking on line with one of the ladies I had palnned to see while on a trip. As things progressed she sent me pics of her while she was in her hotel room at a tour location and her real first and last name. At this point we hadn't even met in person. She just felt "close". I now know that this was her real name because she was on that infamous list that was published by the Tampa LE along with the TBD bust! Now I and a few thousand others also know her address.
Now I know the real names of a few others because I have purchased airlines tickets for them. These days you have to show an I.D. to fly, of course, and in the case of these ladies I'm fairly sure that they haven't gone to the extent of buying false I.D.'s that they would risk getting caught with at the airports.
I would encourage the ladies to not give out that information NO MATTER WHAT. This hobby is full of some of the nicest people I've met, but NEVER underestimate the potential problems that might occur. I have seen (heard) first hand the life shaking effects that a big LE operation like the Florida one can have on their lives.
I would also say that it scares the pop out of me to give out some of the info that the ladies want in their screeneng process. But, you know what? It don't f'g matter. It's their life and their risk. If it's too uncomfortable for the guy to comply with, there are other providers out there for him.
The reviewer probably wants to make sure his review is published by giving it added authenticity. He does not care if his name-dropping affects the provider.
You did the right thing...but you know me...I am convinced many hobbyist forget they are hobbying...they don't want to share personal info about themselves because of the potential repercussions, but since they think of there ATF or current favorite gal as a GF, then they think it is perfectly normal that they know and share her name.
I *WILL* say that you could also make a case that the providers in this case were less than careful than they should have been, but, like you said, sometimes things can happened. That hasn't been MY experience however...I would say that I know the "real name" of about half the ASPs that I know (escorts and dancers both), simply because they told me. I've been told that I seem friendly, easy to talk to, honest, etc. While I am flattered by these characterizations, I am still surprised at the casual ease in the breach of "security". And also, since I don't have anything (ok, much) to hide, I tend to give out MY name without reservation, and sometimes the girls respond in time.
Maybe we should all be a little more careful....I dunno. But again, you certainly did the right thing...
Think twice sweetie, I agree but not totally, because when a guy gives out his private info for screening purposes and pass the screening process,in some cases he is entitled to at least know your professional name "real or stage"
Here are some reason why?
1) If he tells you it is ok to call his office and ask for him direct and his secertary answers the phone, she may ask" who may I say who is calling?"
2) he may have to verify who you are if you went to his place of business, private office, or if he lives in a high security area.
If your working stage name sound like a hooker name Ex. Infiniti, Lexus, Rumpshaker, Pleasure Princess, Heaven Delite or Performanceperfe and not a professional name expect to give out a real first name.
Just my 2ct and I know know you will flame me for it so don't hurt me to bad..
(Kisses and hugs)
Ruth (Stage Name)
-- Modified on 7/7/2002 10:30:31 AM
I've had the "I'll give you mine (name) if you give me yours" kind of argument before meeting. doh!
I feel that it does work both ways,
Both partys, Hobbyists and Providers,
RESPECT...
Each others needs for Privacy and discretion,
Whats Good For The Goose...
Is Good For The Gander...
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I totaly agree with you. Amazing the things I hear from clients. The more they tell me the more I make sure that I don't say anything back.
And Men say that we women gossip?
There is a gentleman now that I saw once and I will never see him again, that is back channeling about are date. Why I ask? Boggles me. I ask? Where is the review?
What happens between a provider and a client should stay there (minus the review) Is it to rake up brownie points and get the slaps on the back? Go figure. NO CLASS IF YOU ASK ME IMHO.
RED
-- Modified on 7/7/2002 12:13:22 PM
It's like fishing stories, Red, but instead of telling about
"the one that got away" some guys like to ... embellish shall we say, about "the one they got."
One never knows what motivates people to interfere in the lives of others; especially when privacy and discretion is inferred, implied or even specifically requested.
As one of my shrinks says "asking 'why?' delivers the boobie prize, you may find out the answer, but it doesn't change a fucking thing."
Just my 2½¢
LM